You are looking at 12 Gentlemen brand tea 十二先生.  It is a kind of premium supertea from 12 mad scientists based in Kunming. Like a boutique wine vinyard that produces only a few casks a year, the 12 Gentlemen put out a limited quantity of superior quality puer tea  普洱茶. Basically, the 12 Gentlemen get downright scientific with it, testing and analyzing combinations of leaves from different years to get the perfect blend.

That’s what I’m thinking, but that may only be because I am unwilling to put forward the 380rmb necessary to buy a cake of 12 Gentlemen. The tea nerds at TeaChat have been doing their best to educate me recently, but I am still skeptical as to my ability to extract 380rmb worth of enjoyment out of this stuff.

The poet Half-Dipper gives some clue about how to think about the flavor:

As the leaves open, a clear cooling sensation appears on my tongue, while a mushroom flavour develops. As infusions pass, this mushroom gradually evolves into something more wood-like.

Cooling mushroom evolving into wood – that sounds like a flavor adventure that I am ready to take.

12 Gentlemen brand tea: ‘Mountains Beyond Mountains’ vintage – 380rmb

Related: 1987: a Good Vintage for Tea

I’ve been meaning to learn a little something about tea for… oh about five years. I imagine immediately turning my expertise into snobbery.

That’s what I would say. Then I would slide the teapot back at the waiter. Cut to me smelling my precious qiaomu 1987 and nodding my head in approval.

This tea gets its name from the year the brand was started – the leaves you buy are actually fresh picked circa 2008, and will need to be stored in a dry place for five or ten years. Just like wine, it gets better the longer it ages.

Click through for an impressive photo-tour of tea production and extreme tea close-ups that are perfect for a soon-to-be expert like me. Qiaomu 1987

Tea – 茶