A little while ago, we went undercover for the Terror Drome to scope out some freekin sweet GI Joe action figures, which had leaked out on Taobao ahead of their official release date. This is our favorite kind of story, so we were excited to see Transformers nerds find some of their own precious cargo hit the interwebs.

According to the toy nerds: this new specimen is no ordinary action figure, but a deluxe class action figure based on the Transformers 2 movie.  The robot is identified as Ironhide who –  if I remember correctly from the movie –  spazed out shot lasers and stuff.

That badass robot you see will change its appearance – some may say transmorph – into this cool truck. That is truckin’ rad!

I really wish that Taobao was the source of more of these kinds of leaks. You never know – there may be brand-name prototype floor mops and umbrellas being leaked all the time, but without the investigative power of a rabid fan base to uncover them. Thanks to the meganerds at Tformers.com for bringing these things to light!

More than meets the eye – 600rmb

Finally a badass robot

Those other robot toys just make me mad that robot technology is still so lame. Once I discovered this, I realized that humanity still had hope for a robot-assisted future. 

It’s Wi-Fi remote controlled and has an on-board camera. Just like a bomb-squad robot,  but it’s not really into touchin stuff. It does have some kinda lights and sound capabilities. And it has motion-detection capabilities. And a microphone with VoIP so you can talk through it. All I hear when I read that back is good for remotely tormenting cats. 

The reviews over on the Amazon product page is that the Spykee actually sucks. But I refuse to accept that. Oh yeah, and you can buy it on Taobao.

Spykee Robots – 2500rmb

Well, it’s basically an Encyclopedia interface. Instead of equipping kids with real life skills of how to use Wikipedia, the idea is to filter all that info through a non-standard keyboard and a one-line monochrome display. 

I think the primary market for this thing is confused grandparents. Gramma sees this on the back of a Reader’s Digest and decides that little Tyler here would love it. “Well, its just like those video games that he’s always playing, but this one is educational!” I hope it comes with a birdcage-style cover, because there is no way Tyler will ever fall asleep with those dead eyes constantly staring at him. 

Hell no! Zero transactions on this product. The Chinese description says that any child who sees it will have a smile in their heart. I think my Chinese character-recognition must be rusty. It’s either ’smile’ or ‘pants-crapping terror.’ 

Not recommended. 

Brian the Brain – 1420rmb

In 1985, there was a little robot buddy in every movie. Not just Star Wars and Short Circuit. Movies like Rocky 4 had a robot. My 4-year-old mind started making plans.

When I got my robot, what would we do together? We’d probably practice tons of kung-fu or something. Maybe I’d get two robots: one to stop trouble.. and one to make trouble.

But robots are still totally sweet. This mindless walking robot at 300rmb is probably my favorite.

If you think that you are man enough to hang with a badass robot that can get you a beer from your refrigerator, check out this 1700rmb monster. Warning: extensive assembly and programming knowledge required.  

This one is pretty sweet too. It has colored buttons for some reason.

If you don’t think you can hang with a badass robot, you can get this lame little walking robot for about 80rmb.

If you want something that is not quite as rad as the monster, but not quite as lame as the bug, you can check out more robots here.