Okay you have the grill. Now you need the meat. And Taobao is ready to help. Food is huge on Taobao. You can get a bunch of stuff, super cheap. All of these foods come freeze-dried or frozen, and will require cooking. Try to order local – the shops will probably deliver themselves, freezer-to-freezer.

I have no idea how much food costs, and I don’t want to know. When the waitress comes to me with the check at the end of a meal, I don’t look at it. I just give her my card and a wink.

Is 50rmb a good deal for 1kg of chicken wings? I have to assume so.

More Meat

While chicken wings dominate Taobao, there are some other meats to be found. If your favorite Xinjiang street vendor just got pushed off his corner, you can try to imitate at home.

Lamb – 4rmb for 40grams

That steak looks good. It comes pre-flavored with black pepper sauce.

Steak – 120grams for 8.8rmb

Most of these meats come pre-flavored. But for an extra 10rmb, you can buy some spices. Just put them in a small mound next to your bbq and everyone will be impressed.  Touch the surface of the meat as it’s cooking and taste it. Shake your head, take a pinch from the spice mound, and dust it over the meat.

Just type in the brand Jumex and you will find what you need. Everything they make will probably taste good on meat.

Ants make you stronger

China’s local foods were actually a big part of why Taobao caught on a few years ago. People needed an easy way to buy the local foods that they missed from back home. One such superfood: black ants.

Seems like the best ants come from the Changbai mountains up in the north. I think they go in soup or are crushed up and eaten as pills. Loads of nutrition in these ones. 

What aren’t ants good for?  This Taobao listing says that eating ants can help you with: “renal dysfunction, impotence, premature ejaculation, hair, hair loss, hepatitis B, chronic hepatitis and diabetes.”  But that’s not all, ants also have “anti-inflammatory, analgesic, anti-rheumatism, detoxification, sedation, anti-asthma, and other pharmacological effects.” 

Well here is the knockout punch. Ants can help you with both yin deficiency AND yang deficiency. I don’t know how that is possible.I was under the sad misconception that stuff was either yin or yang. But ants are the killer crossover, the ambidextrous hermaphrodite of yin/yang remedies. 

Black ants - 13rmb

Ants -蚂蚁

I’ve been meaning to learn a little something about tea for… oh about five years. I imagine immediately turning my expertise into snobbery.

That’s what I would say. Then I would slide the teapot back at the waiter. Cut to me smelling my precious qiaomu 1987 and nodding my head in approval.

This tea gets its name from the year the brand was started – the leaves you buy are actually fresh picked circa 2008, and will need to be stored in a dry place for five or ten years. Just like wine, it gets better the longer it ages.

Click through for an impressive photo-tour of tea production and extreme tea close-ups that are perfect for a soon-to-be expert like me. Qiaomu 1987

Tea – 茶

The New Blend

Starbucks has just recently started offering coffee from China’s southwestern province of Yunnan. The new blend is currently offered only in Starbuck’s mainland China outlets, but Starbucks has confirmed that it could expand to other countries. Word on the street is that the President of Starbucks China wants to make China’s coffee as well-known as China’s tea.

Yunnan coffee is delicous. But for the price of a Starbucks latte, you can buy whole-bean coffee fresh from the farm. And your money will go directly to China’s coffee growers in the mountains of Yunnan Province.

Here is a good seller that ships directly from Yunnan. Yunnan Coffee Beans.

Yunnan’s environment is well-suited to growing coffee. Yunnan’s temperate climate, height above sea level and general geographical situation make the growing conditions comparable with both Indonesia and Colombia. You’ll enjoy it.

If you are just getting started with whole beans, you will need to get a coffee bean grinder as well. Search for 电动磨豆机 You should be able to find a good one for around Y90.

Electric coffee grinder - about 90rmb

You also need a coffee or espresso maker. In this case, you have some options, with coffee makers available for around Y120, and espresso makers starting at around Y500 (and ranging up to Y32,000, ouch!).

Coffee machine – 120rmb

Espresso machine – 800rmb

Single-shot espresso machine – 500rmb

What do you think – have you tried Yunnan coffee? How do you think it stacks up to other regions?

Yunnan Cofee Beans: 云南 咖啡豆