Bad karma on the eCommerce interwebs?

While buying stuff on Taobao is the ideal, perfect form of human activity, it is not without its pitfalls. Taobao shops out-of-stock on your treasure, kuaidi delivery guys calling you from the wrong address, and dreadful browser security plugins…

Such things happen to all unenlightened humans occasionally. And sometimes they happen all at once. When you find that your luck is on a particularly bad streak, it might be a karma problem.

Bookmark this Taobao shop for when you are having one of those days. Place an order with the Mahayana Buddhist Temple in Hangzhou and they will light a candle for you for Buddha to gaze upon in contemplation of your karma.
Link the name to the shop

For only 10rmb a day you can get a special Buddha candle lit for you. I know what you’re saying… one day won’t be enough to fix this mess! Well you’re in luck. They also offer a year-long package for a special price of 1,800rmb. So much good fortune at such a low price! They are practically giving it away.

It’s such a sweet deal at 10rmb a day. Why wouldn’t you do it?

Have a Chinese Buddhist Temple Light an Auspicious Candle for you – 10rmb

On April 14, China Unicom shifted its iPhone plans eliminating their most popular free-iPhone-with-contract plan and adding a super discount plan. They also started selling iPhones without a contract: 4,999rmb for a 16GB phone. Analysis in Chinese

I was planning choosing Unicom’s popular free-iPhone plan, but after they closed that option I was left reconsidering my options. Thankfully, iPhone prices on Taobao began sinking. You can now find the 16GB iPhone 4 for about 4200rmb to 4400rmb. All without a contract commitment.

I ended up choosing Feichang Shouji 非常手机 for an unlocked Hong Kong iPhone and paid 4420. These guys have many shops around China and I hear that they offer excellent service if you need your firmware scrubbed or your settings tweaked.

In light of today’s China Unicom offerings, does it still make sense to buy an unlocked iPhone?

iPhone from Feichang – 4430rmb
All iPhones – various prices

Prepare for Rain

Whenever it rains in Shanghai, local entrepreneurs get a box of umbrellas and hit the streets, posting up at subway exits and office building doors. And they are cheap – 10 or 15 rmb. They are great – ensuring that you never stuck out in the rain.

But if you rely too heavily on that public safety net of cheap umbrellas, you will be stuck with a shelf full of shabby nylon and sharp, rusty aluminum. It’s a better idea to prepare ahead and get a couple nice umbrellas too.

When I was a kid, I would have cut off my right hand Luke Skywalker-style to get something like this. This LED umbrella is 100 times better than the lightsaber toy I had as a kid. When you get it, resist the urge to start swinging it around in battle…

…or go ahead give in to the urge – they’re only 80rmb.

(Don’t forget to make lightsaber noises.)

Besides the obvious role playing benefits, the light can actually serve a practical purpose.  For example, it makes it much easier to meet up with someone. Or it can be a flashlight on those dark rainy nights, in the dark areas around your building.

Maybe you just want everyone to see how good you look! However, if you look all jacked up, you can also turn the light off and go incognito until it’s time for your next lightsaber duel.

Lightsaber Umbrella – About 80rmb

With Additional Handle Flashlight – 98rmb

Better choose EMS…

You might think that it would be crazy to buy a $100,000 custom-crafted 2.62 karat diamond online. Zoccai says that it would be crazy not to buy it online. The Valentines holiday has been very good to this Taobao diamond shop.

Scroll through Zoccai’s past transactions if you’re a fan of big numbers. Besides the 695,000rmb high-water mark, there are plenty of 60,000rmb to 90,000rmb transactions. I originally thought people wouldn’t want to buy this kind of super expensive stuff like diamonds on Taobao. If you think about it, this is one area where you can probably save the most money.

If someone was going to buy this kind of diamond in a store, it would probably be on Shanghai’s Nanjing Lu or some similar posh part of town. These shops have high overhead and are empty most of the time, just sitting there like a mousetrap waiting for their big score. 

Going into a store cold, you have no idea what they have sold in the past and at what price. You would have to be some sort of Diamond Wizard to know what the shiny rocks are worth. But when you buy online, you see the full record of past transactions. You see what sold at what price, and you can benchmark the diamond you are considering to that market value.

Thanks Xinmin.cn (中文)

Can I ever trust Taobao’s gift suggestions?

I have been lamenting Taobao’s poor gift suggestions recently, as Valentine’s Day approaches. Trusting Taobao’s keen awareness of Chinese preferences, I considered the bread pen. But I was quickly informed that that was not a good gift. Under any circumstances. And especially not for a girlfriend on Valentine’s.

Well, Taobao has appearantly heeded my concern, and set about a feverish all-night development session of their latest, greatest invention:  

The All-purpose GIFTOTRON™.

Just enter in the lucky gift recipient’s gender, age, relationship to you and the purpose of the gift, and it comes up with ideas. For my search, a romantic gift for a  female significant other between the ages of 20 and 35, it came up with some interesting suggestions. Nearly 300,000 interesting suggestions. 

Cosmetics and face creams made up a large proportion of the suggested items.  While these may be just the type of things that she would want, I’m pretty sure she would not want them from me. “Happy Valentines! Here, fix your face.”

I actually think that this is a goofy and sweet idea. Under the right circumstances – on vacation, on a deserted island, in a drunken hula hoop contest – I could be persuaded to wear matching shirts. But as a surprise gift, this could put your partner in an uncomfortable position.   

At 1.6 meters tall, the sheer size of this thing is sure to get a reaction. Probably somewhere between “oh-you’re-so-sweet!” tears of joy and “where-the-hell-am-I-going-to-put-that?” confusion. You come walking in with a bear as big as she is, and she’ll be a happy girl. 

Finally a good suggestion from Taobao! Do you have a romantic gift idea that is even more proper than these bears? Let me know in the comments~

Let’s Get Romantic

I was looking around Taobao when I noticed a big button that said Valentine’s Day 情人节.

Damn! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Gotta find a present quick! So I clicked on the link and browsed through Taobao’s suggested romantic gifts. Then I saw the heading 给她一个特别的情人节 

Perfect! It just so happens that is exactly what I want to do…

But I have no idea what a Chinese girl would want. So I checked out their suggestions. I don’t pretend to always understand Chinese culture. Sometimes things seem weird to me, but I just go with the flow. So while this doesn’t seem to me like a good Valentine’s gift, Taobao suggests it. And I trust Taobao. 

I had no idea. But appearantly croissant- and pizza-shaped pens are what girls really want. It’s funny. Girls never tell you what they want directly. Well, now we know. Surprise her with this, and she’ll know it was meant to be. 

Bread pen – 面包笔

Upgrade your notebook.

Choose the Beijing Special Edition.  It’s got street maps, subway maps and more stuff relevant to you. Also, there is a pouch in the back that fits a passport perfectly. (Hong Kong is also available.)