Ninjas to defend your data

Jumping over hills, hiding in plain sight, watching you through the window, it is the stealthy ninja.

If you’re a crazy ninja like me, you need to have the proper equipment to quickly take information and vanish. Let this little guy be your sidekick.

The BONE Ninja USB drive

This sneaky little guy can attach to any surface with its bendable limbs and magnet hands. “Am I a toy?” it asks with a peaked eyebrow hidden under its mask. “Do I amuse you?” Nobody will ever suspect its USB secret.

Death from above

BONE Ninja USB – 100 to 250rmb

Ninja-lovers should also be sure to check out VPNinja.

Being Internet super-users, we at TFG know a thing or two about VPNs. We have tested them all, but never really got that special tingly feeling until we found VPNinja. We LOVE VPNinja and so will you.

When it comes to features and speed, VPNinja checks all our boxes. But the real killer is their unique dual-connection support which allows one account to have two VPN connections at once.
That flexibility stretches a long way. I share my account with my roommate and my girlfriend, and each of us has it on our PCs and our smartphones. Our one account covers three people and six devices, and we never experience a problem logging in when we need to.

Not only is VPNinja the best VPN service in the universe, it is also the cheapest. Impossible but true. Their monthly rate is $6 per month, and the yearly rate is only $58.

Has that incredible fact blown your mind yet? Allow me to double-blow it. Sign up with the promo code TFG (as in Taobao Field Guide) and you will get an extra 10% discount.

Business Plan Step 1: Beanbag Chairs

Back in my first days in Shanghai, I had an idea that I was going to start a beanbag chair business. I was going to call it Shufubao 舒服包 – Chinese for comfy bag.  Shufubao was going to be a subsidiary of Shufu Industries, which would bring together a full suite of products to make you comfortable.

Step 2: Synergy

For example, customers’ first impression of shufubao was to take place at one of our shufutou 舒服头 comfy head locations. shufutou is a dedicated hair washing/head massage salon. Instead of sitting in those weird rotating salon chairs (which are lame), you get to sit in a shufubao (which is awesome). Also, while you received a head massage, you could eat some of our shufudu 舒服肚 comfy tummy brand snacks. It was gonna be total synergy.

Step 3: Profit?

Unfortunatly, my market research revealed that Shufu Industries was doomed to failure. It was clear that a key demographic – women – despised beanbag chairs and were even embarassed to be seen sitting in them.

Come on ladies. What is this, Witness Protection?

My test subjects became deeply pensive and clearly not comfortable. Staring at my purchase order for 30,000 beanbag chairs, I began to share these feelings.

I have since changed my identity and have started pursuing the lucritive internet business. How can YOU benefit from my business blunder? There is currently a huge overstock of beanbag chairs on Taobao and they are selling for low, low prices!

Beanbag Chairs – 50rmb to 300rmb

Levels

Levels? Yeah, I’m getting rid of all my furniture. All of it. And I’m going to build these different levels, with steps, and it’ll all be carpeted with a lot of pillows. You’re not gonna believe it when you see it.

Taobao has just educated me about how Japanese people build their awesome little homes. If you happen to be constructing a Japanese restaurant, or just want to maximize a tiny space, Japanese home-building kits will help you do it. When we are done, we will have something that looks like this, which can be used as a dining set, bed and living room.

That starts with a solid base foundation. Budget 400rmb to 700rmb per square meter. And expect to order several square meters.

Not sure what kind of configuration you need? Just choose from this handy chart.

You need to cover the whole top surface of the base with woven thatch panels. These are also not cheap. About 200rmb per square meter.

Now for the good stuff. We need a mechanical table leg to raise the middle section for dining. If I had my druthers, I would install these things on every surface of my home, making trap doors and hidden panels everywhere. But for now I will have to be satisfied with one. It has a hand-crank and it’s 1100rmb.

Add another 230rmb for the middel panel.

Now we need some doors to hide our little area away from the rest of the house. It’s 650rmb.

The paper, however, is seperate. It will cost you 180rmb.

From my estimations, this project is going to cost about 6000rmb. Dude forget it! I’m gonna buy these awesome floating lights instead.

λ

Who Doesn’t Love Stickers?

If you want a quick and easy way to add some of your own accents to your apartment without spending a lot of time, money or thought, you should get a wall sticker. At less than 100rmb, they are pretty cheap. And they are stickers, so they should be fun to apply.  

As you watch American DVDs and order from Sherpas, it is easy to forget where you are. If you want to add a touch of China your apartment a bit, you can just get a couple cool China-themed stickers to serve as classy little reminders. Meet this old guy. I think he is pulling some of the same poses as our old friend from the Bo-Staff post.

These clear/black Chinese opera faces are pretty sincere. Out of context, they could definately be mistaken for African tribal styles, or perhaps some minor character from the most recent Star Wars movies. 

If you would rather your home be a safe haven from China, you can check out some other great styles. This one is almost like Space Invaders, except the classic aliens are replaced with what looks like normal airplanes. I think it looks cool. If you want the classic Space Invader’s aliens, and come to think of it, of course you do, you can find those on Taobao also.

Basic patterns like this one are the most popular on Taobao, and are what you will probably see the most of if you don’t add any extra keywords. And you probably can’t go wrong with a brown flower-lookin’ thing like this one.

Wall Stickers 墙贴

My first room in Shanghai had some horrible lighting. It was a cold fluorescent dome on the ceiling with Mickey Mouse painted on it. It was impossible to feel happiness in that room until I switched the light out.

Don’t you put up with crappy lighting. You deserve better. An easy lighting upgrade would probably make you much happier. I’m a big fan of this kind of low warm lighting.  Very nice and romantic. And super cheap.

There is definatley at least one space in your house that could use something like this. Pick one of these up and try it in different places around the house. Maybe out on the balcony. Or behind a curtain or something. Find the right place and it is magic. At only 40rmb, why not?

Sparkly star light – 40rmb

天体投影灯

Adults deserve awesome beds too

When I was a kid, there were some things that I decided I wanted even if it took me a million years to get. A racecar bed is at the top of that list. But I got too tall to fit into my precious racecar bed. Seems they don’t make them for people over 5 feet.

Every night I go to sleep in my Ikea Hopen filled with rage that it doesn’t have faux wheels. I’m sure that the dreams I have are 50% less awesome than they would be. 

Then I found this one. It looks even cooler than the racecar bed of my fantasies. It’s like a space racecar. If Kubrick saw this one back in the day, it for sure would have been the 2001: Space Oddessy official bed of the future.

Spacecar Bed – 1750rmb

Designer Styles at Ikea-Like Prices

Before you run out to Ikea to furnish your new China pad, consider Taobao. Along with an Ayi, these fantastic retro replicas are a major benefit of living in China, and are not to be passed up. Even if you are already furnished, you know you could be spending your time on this earth in considerably better style. So go for it. These can be made-to-order so you can even try customizing the color to match your current environment. 

Danish designer Arne Jacobson is responsible for the Egg Chair and its little cousin the Swan Chair. Like most of these styles, this one is circa 1950’s. This era seems to be the sweet spot for retrofuturistic furniture styles. And the Egg Chair is the standard. Best deployed in pairs.

The Egg Chair on Taobao – about 3,000rmb

Some Ball Chairs are actually misidentified as Egg Chairs on Taobao. These look very very cozy and great for adding some color and warmth to a rainy Shanghai day. Best deployed in areas where peripheral vision is not essential.  

The Ball Chair on Taobao – about 2,000rmb

This one looks like a massive drum set. The colors are customizable, and you can alternate the colors on each pad. Despite its name, I think this one is least likely to be cozy for the home. Best deployed in the lobby.

The Marshmallow Sofa on Taobao – 2,000rmb – 6,000rmb

 This one was created in 1948 by a Finnish designer. And I think it is my favorite. It sticks close to normal conventions but still captures the mood of the above chairs. And I think it would win in a comfort comparison. Best deployed at home, with a complementary endtable to hold your Scotch.

The Womb Chair on Taobao – 2,000rmb to 4,000rmb

Shaped like a coconut wedge, this may actually be the most versitle piece of the bunch. If you want to selectively upgrade your pad but are worried about clashing with your current collection, start with a Coconut Chair. Best deployed anywhere.

The Coconut Chair on Taobao – from 1,500rmb

After a long day of doing whatever it is you do, you deserve to rest in style. Get yourself one of these sweet chairs and be glad that you did.