Being Internet super-users, we at TFG know a thing or two about VPNs. We have tested them all, but never really got that special tingly feeling until we found VPNinja. We LOVE VPNinja and so will you.

When it comes to features and speed, VPNinja checks all our boxes. But the real killer is their unique dual-connection support which allows one account to have two VPN connections at once.
That flexibility stretches a long way. I share my account with my roommate and my girlfriend, and each of us has it on our PCs and our smartphones. Our one account covers three people and six devices, and we never experience a problem logging in when we need to.

Not only is VPNinja the best VPN service in the universe, it is also the cheapest. Impossible but true. Their monthly rate is $6 per month, and the yearly rate is only $58.

Has that incredible fact blown your mind yet? Allow me to double-blow it. Sign up with the promo code TFG (as in Taobao Field Guide) and you will get an extra 10% discount.

Ants make you stronger

China’s local foods were actually a big part of why Taobao caught on a few years ago. People needed an easy way to buy the local foods that they missed from back home. One such superfood: black ants.

Seems like the best ants come from the Changbai mountains up in the north. I think they go in soup or are crushed up and eaten as pills. Loads of nutrition in these ones. 

What aren’t ants good for?  This Taobao listing says that eating ants can help you with: “renal dysfunction, impotence, premature ejaculation, hair, hair loss, hepatitis B, chronic hepatitis and diabetes.”  But that’s not all, ants also have “anti-inflammatory, analgesic, anti-rheumatism, detoxification, sedation, anti-asthma, and other pharmacological effects.” 

Well here is the knockout punch. Ants can help you with both yin deficiency AND yang deficiency. I don’t know how that is possible.I was under the sad misconception that stuff was either yin or yang. But ants are the killer crossover, the ambidextrous hermaphrodite of yin/yang remedies. 

Black ants - 13rmb

Ants -蚂蚁

What do brain pills do?

After developing a suspicion that there is something defective with my brain, I have recently been taking supplements to help improve my memory. The mission of these pills is not so much to give you super memory, but rather to fill in any gaps in your nutrients that may be preventing your brain from firing on all cylinders. They are filled with B vitamins, DHA and niacin. 

Here are some brain pills on Taobao.

In the US, vitamins and pills are beyond suspicion. You can go to any Wal-Mart or Target and buy a bottle of any kind of supplement for about $6.  For this reason, I always assumed that most vitamins are cheap to produce. 

But in China, its a completely different situation.  People are very suspicious of vitamins and supplements. Vitamins are assumed to be fake unless they have a big fat “Made in the USA” sticker. Even better if the package is branded with an American flag or eagle. 

Get yourself an American flag, and you’re in business. Putting kids on the package is a good indicator of safety as well. Check out this fabulous product:

Youth’s Hyper – 33rmb. This is probably a pretty good choice if your child is lazy. All of these pills are meant to help the brain. And I do not recommend any of them.

Like I said at the start, I did buy some interesting pills to help memory. They said ‘Made in the USA’ on them, but an Internet search revealed that they are probably from Vietnam. I have now taken an entire bottle, 30 days worth.  They are not poison, but I do not notice any difference in my memory. 

And that’s probably what makes health supplements such an attractive thing to fake. You really can’t notice any difference either way. 

Does anybody have any suggestions to help me improve my brain?

Related: Taobao Partners with Chinese FDA

Scandal!

Taobao has instituted a site-wide ban on products that are sold on TV(中文). This comes after the expose TV program ‘315 night show’ revealed that the Study Pillow - the pillow that makes you smart – might not actually work as described in their TV commercial. 

After close consideration, I think that this product probably/definately does work. Just check out all this science:

That’s science! I recognize science when I see it. And that is definitely science. Do you want further proof that this is completely real science? Check this out:

That’s right. It’s a foreign expert. China recently banned the use of fake experts in TV ads, but that ban doesn’t seem to have stuck too well. And who can blame the advertisers? Who is going to buy any product without a foreign expert behind it?

This weekend I saw one for a product that helps people stop smoking. It was a mouth spray that made cigarettes taste bad. If it managed to make Chinese cigarettes taste worse than they already are, it really is a miracle product.

To prove that smoking really is bad for you, they put two mice in a box filled with concentrated smoke from 60 cigarettes. Surprise! The mice died. The in-studio audience was shocked at this development and gave an audible gasp.

Animal lovers in the US would probably get pretty pissed if they saw that happen. But if it convinces someone to stop smoking, then those mice are going to mousey heaven. Like little rodent versions of Yul Brenner giving a stop-smoking message from beyond the grave. 

You can still find them on Taobao, for a limited time. The Study Pillow - 235rmb.  Update: its been taken down. And if you try to search for 学习枕 you will be redirected to the general shopping portal. 

If you want to see a wacky Chinese TV ad in motion, check out this recent post on Mark’s China Blog.