I have saved up all my Taobao VIP points…

I have saved up all my Taobao VIP points, and am thinking about what to buy. Being the Taobao Master Numero Uno, I have millions and millions of points, which can be used on most purchases to give me a cute little discount. And I think I know what I will spend them on. Will I be the first person in history to use a coupon on his purchase of a Lamborghini? Probably. But I won’t tell that to all the chicks I pick up. I’ll tell them that I paid extra, because paying extra is cool.

Millions and Millions

Don’t have millions of VIP points? You will have to pay cash. Prices range is between 4.5 million rmb and 6.9 million rmb.  They haven’t sold one yet (not in the official Taobao system, anyways) and probably never will.  It’s not exactly about that. Lamborghini is another in the long line of big brands to realize that to exist in the minds of the Chinese consumer, you need to be on Taobao.

Lamborghini~6888000rmb

iPad 2 is out!

You might have heard about the huge iPad 2 launch in China. The one that had created massive lines in Shanghai and Beijing, and even an incident of laowai rage. The lines were reported to be mostly made up of scalpers, capitalizing on the certain scarcity of this hot item. So what kind of profits do the scalpers get for waiting in this line for hours and hours?

This is what my PTSD nighmares look like

I am happy to report that there is no scarcity on Taobao. If you want an iPad 2, you will pay about a 300rmb premium over the list price for the cheapest model, an 8% margin.  Apple’s mainland China MSRP on the 16GB model without 3G coverage is 3688rmb, compared to 3998rmb on Taobao.  (You can also get a Hong Kong model for slightly cheaper: 3820rmb.)

Rich and impatient

This iPad hoarding is a dirty twist on supply and demand.  But it seems to be working out, as the biggest shops sell them by the hundreds. I could sidestep these scoundrels by waiting until the official Apple store has fresh stock. But I am a rich SOB, and an impatient one. And you know what else? I’m worth it.

Bad karma on the eCommerce interwebs?

While buying stuff on Taobao is the ideal, perfect form of human activity, it is not without its pitfalls. Taobao shops out-of-stock on your treasure, kuaidi delivery guys calling you from the wrong address, and dreadful browser security plugins…

Such things happen to all unenlightened humans occasionally. And sometimes they happen all at once. When you find that your luck is on a particularly bad streak, it might be a karma problem.

Bookmark this Taobao shop for when you are having one of those days. Place an order with the Mahayana Buddhist Temple in Hangzhou and they will light a candle for you for Buddha to gaze upon in contemplation of your karma.
Link the name to the shop

For only 10rmb a day you can get a special Buddha candle lit for you. I know what you’re saying… one day won’t be enough to fix this mess! Well you’re in luck. They also offer a year-long package for a special price of 1,800rmb. So much good fortune at such a low price! They are practically giving it away.

It’s such a sweet deal at 10rmb a day. Why wouldn’t you do it?

Have a Chinese Buddhist Temple Light an Auspicious Candle for you – 10rmb

Mankind has almost won its war against metal keys. Flat, pocket-friendly cards now grant me access to my apartment and office. And with the multi-use jiaotong transit card, we have even replaced car keys. Today, I have only one necessary key in my life – the key to my front door.

Until we upgrade our apartments to hotel-style key locks, we will have to live with this uncomfortable hunk of metal in our pockets. But we can take this key and put it where the rest of our old keys have gone: our wallet.

The Porter 819 wallet. This wallet has room for all your cards and money, and a keychain built right into it.

Porter, a Japanese brand, is certified practical man-fashion. Like so many things in Japan it is ahead of its time and made for the good of all man.

Laser-etched dog tags

Following from the last post, some people caught some laser-etching mania.  My partner laobanniang among them, found some really crazy stuff.

A perfect Valentine’s day gift

Don’t have a dog? Me either. But I do have a girlfriend (the aforementioned laobanniang). So my plan is to get one of these customized with her image, and put on a cute dog collar.

Or maybe I get it with my image, if I am going to give it to her? I haven’t worked out all the details yet. But there is a really cute little gift in there somewhere.

Urban Ninjas Only

If you are a master Ninja-About-Town, you will want to equip one of these in your adventure kit.  Stainless steel construction ensures that you could use it as a throwing weapon, if need be.

Not only does it let you know where you are going, but it can also double as an emergency mirror for peeking around corners.

Available for major Chinese cities

If you live in Shanghai, Guangzhou, Beijing or Hong Kong, you need to pick one of these up for your wallet or risk the danger of being caught lost.

Last year’s fashion was to have multiple credit cards prominently displayed in the wallet. This year, it will be the stainless steel subway map. Stay ahead of the game and order yours today.

Steel Pocket Subway Maps of Chinese Cities ~70rmb

China’s Simplecut Fashion Label

Reader Veronique just gave us a hot Field Report on simplecut – a small homegrown Chinese fashion label.

I won’t embarrass myself by trying to speak on women’s fashion. But I can tell you that the clothes are purrty. As is their model girl. She’s got those classic good looks, which I don’t usually go for, but she adds 10 cups of smile and it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.

And their photos would make much better postcards than whatever is currently sold in the Forbidden City gift shop.

Of course, these kids are from Beijing, just like all good Chinese fashion. I wonder how she managed to change clothes in the Forbidden City so many times.

That settles it. I am going to quit my job and join a Beijing art school. These kids take the best field trips.

simplecut

China’s Hongqi 红旗 (Red Flag) Cars

My second favorite part of the China 60th Anniversary National Holiday Celebrations is seeing President Hu riding around in his deluxe new automobile.

Traditionally, the President will drive around in a Hongqi brand car on the National Holiday, standing through the sunroof with microphones built into the car for speaking to the audience.

It’s a tradition that goes all the way back to Mao and the early years of the country, and the car has become an iconic part of Chinese history. And there are a few for sale (without the sunroof/microphones) on Taobao.

That’s pretty much all you need to know, I guess.  Plan on spending an extra 5,000rmb on proper window tinting, and another 2,000rmb on that awesome VIP duck-quack horn. Guaranteed to turn more heads than a factory-owner’s Ferrari.

Now we are cooking. This 700,000rmb Red Flag car from 1969 is stated to have once belonged to former Vice Premier He Long.  (But if you read He Long’s wikipedia page, that timeline doesn’t really make sense.) Nice looking ride though!

If you can’t afford hundreds of thousands of rmb to buy a Red Flag, then you can still own a small piece of that noble essence with one of these 1:32 models. It is 35rmb.

I’ve been suffering from some post-Alifest depression, as I realize that the next Alifest is 350+ days away. With this depression came some bad writer’s block. For the first time, I could find no delight on Taobao — my days were grey. It took a product suggestion from long-time Friend of the Field Guide to bump me out of my malaise. Thanks @msittig!

If you have a hot tip for the Field Guide, hit me up at my Twitter: @justtaobaoit

As a man, most shoes seem wrong to me. One very notable exception is the bowling shoe, which seems right in nearly every way.

For one, they are clearly labeled with the size. Most other shoes would so crudely bear a brand logo instead. My bowling shoes thinks that type of brand-bragging is impolite. My bowling shoes work in numbers.

Bowling shoes are indoor shoes. This provides enormous mental benefit. Whilst wearing bowling shoes, you may safely ignore any inconvenient summons to leave your home. You are, after all, wearing your indoor shoes. Like Mr. Rogers.

In fact, whilst you are wearing bowling shoes, it is not okay to partake in any strenuous mental or physical activity. Approved activities include sipping a scotch or practicing your golf putting into a glass or roll-up putting green. Reading a newspaper is encouraged. You may engage in low-level planning and scheming, only up to the point of drawing circles and x’s on a map or schematic. Do not wear your bowling shoes while using a computer or while transporting any item requiring the use of both hands. Bowling, of course, is an approved activity. As are trips to the Land of Make Believe.

Bowling Shoes – 55-250rmb

Upgrade your notebook.

Choose the Beijing Special Edition.  It’s got street maps, subway maps and more stuff relevant to you. Also, there is a pouch in the back that fits a passport perfectly. (Hong Kong is also available.)