Are you a fan of the shadowy warriors known as ninjas? Do you love nerding out in your grammas basement playing board games? Well, now your nerd fest is complete with the Ninja Vs. Ninja Board Game.

This game is a 2 player strategy game where you attack and defend against an enemy dojo. So you can finally prove to your mortal enemy that you have the greatest dojo and the sneakiest ninjas.

This is a fun game that lasts about 15 minute and has no in-game text, which makes it  easily played and explained for non-English players.

Play Ninja Vs. Ninja and NERD OUT!

Get it on Taobao for 105-130rmb.

In fact, your Chinese friends might already be aware of Monopoly. You can find Monopoly game boards all over China for very low prices. Here is a cheap Chinese-language Monopoly board for just 14rmb. Playing in Chinese should not be too difficult, since you are probably already well familiar with the rules. It may even provide you with a great chance to learn some new Chinese words.

But the Chinese location names do feel a little bland in the Chinese edition.  So you may also want to consider this rad Nintendo-themed Monopoly board, which is a nice upgrade at only 22rmb. (Update: I can’t find it now! But there are a ton of other Monopoly variations to be found here.)(Second update – found it! Thanks to commenter uHeaven)

At the very least, you should pick yourself up a deck of UNO cards. Chinese people should already be familiar with UNO and it is a great alternative to the super-boring 80-fen card games which seem to be the Chinese default. Or try this exciting UNO / Jenga mashup for less than 40rmb.

If you are serious about getting your UNO skills in order, you will want 400g-weight cards. That’s what all the pros use. And if you show up at a tournament with some tiny little 300g cards, you are gonna get seriously clowned. So don’t even step with that lightweight stuff. Check this guy out for the real skinny on fat UNO decks.

No reason not to buy a couple to stash around the house for a quiet little Friday night at home with friends, or to use as an emergency birthday gift. Now, can anybody find some reasonable dominos on Taobao? You know, the good ones. With the ball bearings.

Dominos - 多米诺

Serious Nerd-Bait

My friends introduced me to Settlers of Catan recently. It is some serious nerd fun. Rolling dice, gathering resources. Strategically building a road to nowhere just to block your friend’s road-building ambitions. I liked it a lot, and my Chinese friends became seriously obsessed.

This important fashion update 中文 says that killing-people video games 杀人游戏 are OUT, and board games 桌游 are IN.  Board game lounges are starting to spring up across China.  Among the initiated, these games become an addiction. And since most games require four or more players, they’ll often have to recruit new people into their kabal to continue playing.  This article talks about 12-hour overnight marathon sessions and women who neglect their small children to attend. Nerds be gettin’ out of control. 

If you are familiar with these kind of games, and want to introduce some Chinese friends, you are in luck. Many of the popular games, such as Catan come in Chinese.  So you can toss them the instruction manual and not have to worry about any late-stage “oh, that’s how you play” realizations. You will also be able to find boards in English or German. 

This guy offers 125 different board games. Most of them appear to be original German editions. Germany is, appearantly the origin of this brand of nerding. If you are looking for something specific, just search for it by name, and add 英, 中 or 德 to filter by language.

Settlers of Catan in English – about 300rmb

Board Games - 桌游

China is not the place to be in event of a zombie takeover

Let’s face it, Expats. We live in the most populated country on Earth. If a zombie apocalypse were to occur, we would be at a serious strategic disadvantage. So make sure that your zombie tactics are in place by playing out common zombie entrapment scenarios on cardboard.

Settlers of Catan is a fine game, but in this age of board game revival, it is quickly becoming a bit passé. If you really want to stay on the cutting edge of nerd fashion, you need to go one step further into obscurity.

So as I look to deepen my collection, like a wine collector carefully choosing vintage for my cellar, I would probably gravitate towards this zombie-themed board game.

After mastering the strategy of the game, many players turn to customization. For instance, your stock zombie figures probably need a custom paintjob.

And if you feel like the rules need a tweak, you can print out your own custom game cards. There is a full community built around customizing board games, and this zombie game has received a full dosage of fan love. The full spectrum of zombie lore is represented. Bonus points for the Settlers of Catan reference on his shirt. 

The Last Night on Earth game board costs a big fat 450rmb on Taobao, so be sure you are ready to take on this commitment. 

Zombie Board Game - 450rmb

Culture courtesy of BoardgameGeek.com