I have been lamenting Taobao’s poor gift suggestions recently, as Valentine’s Day approaches. Trusting Taobao’s keen awareness of Chinese preferences, I considered the bread pen. But I was quickly informed that that was not a good gift. Under any circumstances. And especially not for a girlfriend on Valentine’s.

Well, Taobao has appearantly heeded my concern, and set about a feverish all-night development session of their latest, greatest invention:  

The All-purpose GIFTOTRON™.

Just enter in the lucky gift recipient’s gender, age, relationship to you and the purpose of the gift, and it comes up with ideas. For my search, a romantic gift for a  female significant other between the ages of 20 and 35, it came up with some interesting suggestions. Nearly 300,000 interesting suggestions. 

Cosmetics and face creams made up a large proportion of the suggested items.  While these may be just the type of things that she would want, I’m pretty sure she would not want them from me. “Happy Valentines! Here, fix your face.”

I actually think that this is a goofy and sweet idea. Under the right circumstances – on vacation, on a deserted island, in a drunken hula hoop contest – I could be persuaded to wear matching shirts. But as a surprise gift, this could put your partner in an uncomfortable position.   

At 1.6 meters tall, the sheer size of this thing is sure to get a reaction. Probably somewhere between “oh-you’re-so-sweet!” tears of joy and “where-the-hell-am-I-going-to-put-that?” confusion. You come walking in with a bear as big as she is, and she’ll be a happy girl. 

Finally a good suggestion from Taobao! Do you have a romantic gift idea that is even more proper than these bears? Let me know in the comments~

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