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Getting Back in Shape – Taobao’s My Spotter

I must confess. My custom-slim-fit fabric market shirts are struggling to endure the fatty disaster that I have become. I will have a New Year’s resolution to lose the fat – so that I may announce on my lovematch.com profile that my body type is once again ‘athletic.’

Exercise: the bad way

Exercise is not my preferred method of losing fat.  Exercise is for poor people, and I am not poor. I will use my incredible wealth to buy a fat-loss solution. Let’s explore.

The Losing Fat Belt

Most shops that carry the Losing Fat Belt announce proudly that it is a genuine product (100%正品).  If you are concerned that the Losing Fat Belt that you are buying is not a genuine Losing Fat Belt, I insist that you lighten up. Zing!

losing fat belt

Losing Fat Belt – 200rmb

Fat Creams

Proving that the animated GIF is the sexiest of all GIFS, this product posting for fat-burning cream nearly make me break my vow against exercise.

rubbing the tummy chinese girl

A-ok Eliminate Fat Cream – 58rmb

Fat Pills

After my failed experiment with brain pills, I am not eager to try another janky supplement. But O-FAT has a compelling promise: to eliminate current fat, and prevent new fat from settling in. With physiological effects like that, what can go wrong?

o-fat pills

O-FAT – 100RMB

What are you waiting for? Buy the whole trifecta and enjoy the new you!

spinning chinese cheerleader

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